All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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