none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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