My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
