It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
