It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
