He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
