Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
