the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
