How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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