Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize