I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
