my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
