Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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