I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
