Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize