What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
