they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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