I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it was like eating out sand paper
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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