All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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