look no pants
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
