girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
