after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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