I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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