As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize