He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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