it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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