You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
