i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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