If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
