physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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