I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
