just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
