Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
