508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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