i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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