So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Randomize