I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
