But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
