the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
