Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
