bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
