Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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