so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
