It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
