It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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