I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
