Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
