so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
