I have demons in me.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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