My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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