Pappa wants mamma naked
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I am mentally ready for anal.
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