If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
