Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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