Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
