Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
