I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
