the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Randomize
