I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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