Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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