I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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