So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
