remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
