Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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