It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
